the good. the bad. the bummers.
Little started Kindergarten and he loves loves loves it.
and it is fall. not technically but yeah. i am calling it fall because honestly, i am ready to put this summer behind me.
little pants started preschool! she is AWESOME and loves it! (dont look at her hair. I was so sick on her first day I could barely hold my head up. I managed these pony tails with a 102 fever)
And she is a ballerina now. just ask her.
We went on vacation. Our favorite spot in the smokey mountains. It was heaven.
The Bad (no pictures of the bad):
I have the plague. Not really. But I aint good at being sick and I felt gross lately. I am over it. I made a new formula for it:
stress + allergies + bleh = plague.
My hubby? He lost his job due to downsizing. It has been 7 weeks. I hate broadcasting it like this but I am asking that you pray for him to find work soon. He is really ready to go back. Plus the severance is up ...so...you know. pray please
And worse? My daddy is being deployed to Afghanistan. He is in training now and will be gone in a few weeks. So prayers for him too. And us. Especially my big boy. He is really going to miss his Pop Pop.
Yes this is my dad (now you know I got the geek honest):
MY major problem.
Yes, I posted it in the good section. It is great for him. He loves it. He was ready. Me? not so much. I am a mess. It isnt because of the obvious cliche reasons either. I am not sad he is growing up, going to school and being awesome. Did it go fast? Yes. But that doesnt get to me.
It is a ME problem. I am allowed right? Sometimes I am allowed to make it all about me right? I am? I think the right word is grieving. I am grieving for the time I lost with him, with both of them, that I cannot get back. I work full time. I dont have a horrible job. I work for a good company with good benefits. But I dont want to. I dont want to go off to work everyday and leave them. I hate that. I have always wanted to be a SAHM and it just hasnt happened for us yet. I could go on about this for a while but that is about all I can stomach to write down. The hurt is deep. I have not had a choice but to work. I work very hard and I am passionate about my work. I always try to do my very best while I am there. I know that God wants me to do that. And I will keep on waiting. I wont quit hoping and praying to stay home. I cant give up my dream. so yeah. That is it. That has been my issue since preschool graduation in the spring. I am a mess inside.
But dont worry! Cause tomorrow we are back to the happy. the awesome and the rocking like fraggles. I wont bring it down for a while. promise. Thanks so much for listening. I feel so much better now that I wrote it out. Even if it isnt the whole story. Love you all.
Look at my precious! When did he get so big?